The Caregiver Curmudgeon: Physicians Etiquette Edition

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There is nothing like being immersed in today’s healthcare system to bring out the ‘mudgeon in me. Like the comic character, The Hulk, just when I work hardest to keep my curmudgeon-ship at bay, something triggers and big-time.

I spent a few hours observing in a doctor’s office last week. This was a top-notch office with highly skilled physicians. Yet, allow me to repeat some overheard comments.

“Dear, when someone is old, (meaning their client) it takes you a lot longer than him (pointing at me) or me to recover.”

“We are only concerned that at your age, you might fall, break a hip (point to their client’s hip in question) and go into a nursing home and… whereas his sharp-witted patient smirked and said, “and die?”

When questioned if there was a better way to talk with his patients, one of these physicians next said, “When people are over 85 like you….” (Not much better)

And one doctor looking only at the family members when talking about their loved one’s health, even though his client was of sound mind

So...

Allow me to help, if I may.

  • Find a way to communicate with your clients individually, as opposed to in ageist generalities.
  • Saying the client's name would be nice. Ask first if you can call them by their first name.
  • All people living with the same disease, illness or of the same age, are not the same.
  • If you practice in a predominately over-60 community, strike the words old, aged or elderly from your lexicon. It does not endear you to client or family.
  • If appropriate, talk directly to your client instead of talking through family members. Take it from me, that is highly insulting to your client and their family members.
  • I know that physicians never get the time they desire in the diagnostic sessions; but try to take a moment to connect to your client (if you didn’t know by now, I like this word client must better than patient) on a human level.

P.S. if you didn’t realize it by now, this was a geriatrician’s office, where they should certainly know better.

Share your healthcare etiquette horror stories below.